The “Sad, but too often true" caricature pictured above is, according to what I glean from my clients, sad, but too often true. Perhaps a bit exaggerated but what is most often the case is the fact that caregiving for an aging parent generally falls on one child. In the minds of some, things (care) do not have to be divided equally until mom dies when things (assets) should be divided equally. What is a caregiver to do?

It’s not as if the family, including mom, got together and made plans on how to care for her as she aged. More often than not, the family wakes up one morning and realizes one child is doing all the work, an occurrence that follows a series of small decisions for the caretaker to assume more and more responsibilities until he/she starts to feel overwhelmed. The purpose of this article is to encourage you, dear readers, to develop a plan before an emergency forces the family to come up with a plan.

For those of us who have opted not to go into a graduated living community, we start with the assumption that we want to age in place, that we want to live as independent as possible for as long as possible with optimal quality of life and adequate socialization.

Elsewhere in this newsletter, we have provided links to resources; one that I found particularly useful in developing a plan is the AARP Family Caregiver Resource Guide and addresses the key issues including house/living situation, finances, health, socialization and support system, and legal.

As clients of this office, you have started on your plan, that is, you have appropriate legal documents in place: a trust, a will, a general power of attorney, and a healthcare power of attorney.  At least you did when you signed those documents. Family dynamics change over time, and it is recommended that you periodically review your appointed trustees, personal representatives, and agents. Is your spouse with mild cognitive impairment the best person to act in your stead?

Is the child with the MBA degree the best person to manage your financial affairs if he hasn’t even called you in the past year? And financial management need not be concentrated in one person; one can manage the investments while another manages the day-to-day checkbook. One does not need to live in the same house to take advantage of digital bill paying.

The same is true with healthcare management; the on-site caretaker need not have all the responsibility of addressing mom’s health needs. Another child (or mom’s sibling, granddaughter, or friend) can help coordinate doctor’s appointments and care options. It helps to work with a physician that creates digital notes (such as My Chart) that all family members can access.

And then there are end-of-life decisions, but that is a theme for another newsletter. It suffices to say now that you want your spouse and children to be on the same page when it comes to such decisions. If you are a client, I encourage you to take another look at the paper I gave you, My Story, My Way: Designing the Final Chapter.

And, finally, after you have that plan in place, start over again. Assume that the caretaker can no longer take care.  Being a caretaker does not insulate one from death and disability. There has to be a Plan B.

Truth be told, I do not have a Plan B. Maybe I should discuss this with my children but probably not today.  As long as I can care for my wife, what could go wrong?

~John F. Robbert

The Social Security Administration (SSA) website hosts a wealth of online tools that offer you convenient access to benefits information. To make the most of these tools, simply create a my Social Security account online. It is free to set up a mySSA account.
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More than 65 million people are currently collecting Social Security benefits. Whether or not you are already receiving these benefits, there are numerous services you may be able to take advantage of through the SSA website. These include the following:
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1. Determine whether you are eligible for Social Security – in less than 10 minutes.
   
   
2. Apply for Social Security benefits (Gather all the details that you’ll need to complete the application process, including your bank account information, recent employment history, your Social Security number, your spouse’s Social Security number, and the names of your eligible children).
   
   
3. Check on the status of your application.
   
   
4. Update changes to your name, phone number, email address, or mailing address.
   
   
5. Replace your Social Security card if you’ve misplaced it, damaged it, or have had it stolen.
   
   
6. Review your Social Security statements (View a sample statement).
   
   
7. Get a personalized estimate of how much your monthly retirement benefit will be, based on your age.
   
   
8. Secure proof of your benefits with a verification letter (also known as a proof of income letter or benefits letter).
   
   
9. Set up direct deposit for your monthly benefit check (or update your banking information).
   
   
10. Complete the application process for disability benefits.
    
    
11. See the schedule for your upcoming, as well as your past, benefits payments.

How Much Can I Expect to Get in Social Security Benefits?
It depends, and the amount also typically adjusts a bit each year.

The maximum amount you can receive per month once you are at full retirement age is $3,627, as of 2023. Note that, on average, retired workers are receiving considerably less that that – $1,827 per month in 2023.

The SSA announces its annual cost-of-living adjustment (COLA) each fall for the upcoming year. In large part due to inflation, the COLA for 2023 saw its biggest increase in Social Security benefits in more than four decades – almost 9 percent.

How much you will receive depends on factors such as:

• the length of your work history,
• your age,
• how much you earned during your employment,
• whether you’re still working,
• and, in some cases, the state where you reside.

​To learn more or to create an account, visit the mySSA account homepage.

From Elder Law Answers